I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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