If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
