I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
