he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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