i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
