small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
