yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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