You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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