also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
