Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
When are your genitals available?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
