is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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