no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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