I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
