man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
