i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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