He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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