Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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