I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
