Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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