Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
You dont lie about slip and slides
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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