I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
it's not cheating when I paid for it
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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