dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
You left your phone here
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