You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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