I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
