well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
