You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
