why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
