She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
