I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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