Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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