So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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