she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
