Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
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