My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
