Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
