Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize