C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
