Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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