considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
