Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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