I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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