Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
