i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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