I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
