there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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