I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
