hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i just google imaged poop.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
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