now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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