covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
