so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
