Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
