and you said cock pushups were impossible
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
