youre lurking in front of me
I looked at my own cervix.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
