She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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