i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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