States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
