dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
