would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
50% drunk capacity currently
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
