Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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