He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
