i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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