It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
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