We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Randomize