i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
bring money and cleavage
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
