i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
