We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Sober January is a disaster.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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