also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
i out mim tonsoeep
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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