just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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