just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I wish i was in the wii world.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
